The Power of Positive Relationships: Building Antifragility, Well-Being, and Life Satisfaction
Valentine's Day is a time when we celebrate love and relationships, which brings tremendous satisfaction for some, but also brings an intense feeling of isolation for others. Each can have a dramatic impact on our momentary happiness, life satisfaction and more.
Which begs the question, what is it about positive relationships that make them so essential for our well-being and resilience?
Various studies have found that positive social relationships and support are protective factors for well-being, and loneliness is a risk factor for depression, anxiety, and other negative mental health outcomes. In a 5-year cross-lagged study, Cacioppo, Hawkley, and Thisted (2010) found that perceived social isolation was a predictor of depressive symptoms in older adults. Seligman (2011) further notes that positive relationships and connectedness can be key components of overall well-being, contributing to the development of resilience and satisfaction in life.
In addition, physical health is also improved by positive relationships. Penedo and Dahn (2005) found that social support and relationships can impact exercise adherence and overall health outcomes. Physical and emotional well-being are interconnected, and positive relationships can have a positive impact on both.
You could look across nearly every major scientific model of well-being, human flourishing, self-actualization or general “happiness” and find that they all include an emphasis on social connection and warm relationships. Marc Shulz and Robert Waldinger recently published a new book called The Good Life, that details the findings from the world’s longest running study of human happiness. Spoiler alert: The number one indicator of happiness and life satisfaction is, you guessed it, positive relationships.
So, why are positive relationships so important? One reason is that they provide a sense of belonging and social support. When we feel like we belong to a group or have people who care about us, we are likely to experience lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone that contributes to a wide range of negative health outcomes. As a result, being socially connected means we are more likely to feel supported and resilient in the face of stress and adversity. A key to becoming more antifragile.
The critical question, of course, is what can we do to foster positive relationships in our life, whether it's with a romantic partner, a friend, or a family member? Here are four action steps you can take:
Practice active listening: One of the most important components of positive relationships is effective communication. Make a conscious effort to listen actively when someone is speaking to you, and show that you understand and value their perspective.
Show empathy: Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes and understand their feelings and experiences. When we show empathy to others, we are more likely to build positive relationships and strengthen our sense of connection.
Cultivate gratitude: Finally, make an effort to express gratitude for the positive relationships in your life. Whether it's thanking a loved one for their support or showing appreciation for a friend, expressing gratitude can help to strengthen our connections and increase our overall well-being.
Recognize their strengths and positive traits: Don’t just occasionally pay them compliments, see the personalities, skills and virtues that make them unique and that positively impact your life. Then let them know! This is another great way to express gratitude as well. Check out this inventory of character strengths to identify what the people in your life bring to the table.
With the celebration of Valentine's Day this past week, let's remember that positive relationships are not just about romantic love. They are about the connections we have with the people who matter to us, and the ways in which those connections can make us happier, healthier, and more resilient. Intimacy is an important part of that, but so are our family, friends and various communities.
Once again, positive relationships are essential for our well-being, life satisfaction, and resilience. As Brene Brown says, "Connection is why we're here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives." So, whether it’s this week as a part of Valentine's Day or just any average day of our lives, let's celebrate the power of positive relationships and take time to nurture the connections that matter most. By doing so, we can increase our overall well-being and experience the joy that comes from being a part of something greater than ourselves.
As always, here’s to your journey toward antifragility,
Nick and Adam
Interested in learning more? Check out our recent episode of FlourishFM on friendships with Dr. Marissa G. Franco.
References:
Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Penguin.
Cacioppo, J. T., Hawkley, L. C., & Thisted, R. A. (2010). Perceived social isolation makes me sad: 5-year cross-lagged analyses of loneliness and depressive symptomatology in the Chicago Health, Aging, and Social Relations Study. Psychology and Aging, 25(2), 453-463. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017216
Helliwell, J. F., Huang, H., & Wang, S. (2018). The Social Context of Well-Being. Journal of Happiness Studies, 19(5), 1445–1462. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-017-9882-z
Penedo, F. J., & Dahn, J. R. (2005). Exercise and well-being: A review of mental and physical health benefits associated with physical activity. Current Opinion in Psychiatry, 18(2), 189-193. https://journals.lww.com/co-psychiatry/Abstract/2005/03000/Exercise_and_well_being__a_review_of_mental_and.13.aspx
Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. New York: Free Press.
